this afternoon was simple. simple but perfect. pretending to be little girls again, a few friends & i gathered as many blankets & pillows as we could find & made a fort. saving the white blanket with small crochet holes for the top, of course, because it would let in light in a magical way. scrounging food from the communal kitchen, we ran upstairs & ate it all whilst watching one of my childhood favorites, Peter Pan. no Robin Williams or Disney cartoon in sight, for this particular version stars my middle school dream boy, Jeremy Sumpter. i remember renting this film almost every weekend in junior high. my friend & i would pause it every 30 seconds it seemed to either make fun of Wendy [she was SO ugly & didn't deserve him, we argued] or drool over the ever so handsome [or cute, was it?] Peter Pan. it had been years since i'd sat down & watched it again, reminiscing all my childhood hopes & dreams, what i anticipated life to be all about. the music, certain lines [do YOU believe in fairies?] i forgot i memorized by heart. all of it a memory frozen in time, nostalgia to bring it back to [almost] life again.
life is like that: some memories fade, others last quite a while longer, but no matter the length of time, they change a person's life forever. it may have taken me another viewing of Jeremy Sumpter to remember, but life is magical in that growing up isn't always a bad thing. having to be an adult now, i sometimes wish i could go back in time & be 13 again, watching Peter Pan with my friend & dreaming of what our lives would be like one day [we were convinced we'd travel the world, marry rich & possibly become photographers/spies. you know, living the dream]. but even back then all i wanted was to grow up, to actually make dreams a reality. i realize i can't have it both ways, the freedoms of an adult but the simplicity & naiveté of a child. both are extremely beautiful, and together make a journey... it's called life. you'd think i'd have it figured out by now.
ok, ok, i'll grow up & be a big girl now... but every once a while you may just find me sitting in a pile of blankets watching Peter Pan.