october 28th

Remember DJ Tanner from Full House?
Yeah, she came to LU. Almost met her but she had to leave to catch her flight
Also, her brother is Kirk Cameron. Small world

october 27th

Took a nap in the courtyard



why don't people take me seriously. why don't they treat me like an adult. but why would they? i look like i'm 15, never say anything of immense importance, am shorter than most people's level of vision. i'm not an outstanding student, great athlete, or talented musician. just sarah. plain little sarah.

why is every dream a nightmare, taking me back to the days i wish i could forget. my heart is so raw from being stripped & left out in the cold. every night is the same. i think i've closed myself off for good, but it still controls me. always reminding me of what i had & what is now lost. i don't ever want to wake up because it means i'll have to go through it again.

why are the words "best friend" only true when you're 5. i surround myself with people i call friends, but sometimes i wonder where they are when i need them most. do they care that i feel trapped inside my own skin, that i put on a mask & pretend i actually like who i am.

why is my outward appearance so important to me. i refuse to miss a workout, & hate myself if i do. food controls me. it's a monster i can't run from so i don't even try. i just accept that that's the way it's going to be so i might as well try to enjoy it. but i don't. guilt haunts me with every bite.

why did i ever want to be a mom & wife. i don't even know if i want kids or a husband anymore, which scares me because that's all i ever wanted in life. a family to call my own. but my heart is made to wander. it's scared to stay in one place too long. i was born to flit & float, keeping happiness at arm's length.

why is love so heartbreaking. it's supposed to be the greatest emotion, the most wonderful feeling a human heart will ever experience. ha. the joke's on me. i hate love, hate that i gave it all, trusted it with everything i had, & fed it my dreams. what do i get in return? scars. ugly, jaded scars.

why do i listen to these lies & let them ruin my life. do i have more to offer than i actually believe? where is my passion? what are my desires? where is my love?

wherever my hope is.

no where.


october 26th

Been so busy lately, taking pictures hasn't been my top priority
Flowers--mini daisies? [love]--from my hammock excursion
& a letter from miss hanna lea

october 25th

I always wanted to be Laura Ingalls
Thanks Halloween for the opportunity 

october 24th

Eno & Finn

october 23rd

Modeled as the crazy roommate for my
friend's photography project


october 22nd

What does my church do best?
Chili & dessert buffets

No s'more bonfire


october 18th

Happy birthday, Lauren/Amelia Earhart!
3 free scoops of ice cream is a great reason to be born


october 15th

Chancellor Jerry Jr & his wife in the parade
Katrina & I made gluten-free chocolate cake for tailgating
Secret ingredient? Garbanzo beans!

october 14th

Watch out y'all, Batman's comin' to town this Halloween


october 13th


october 12th

Made my own dinner & it was actually a success
[Looks gross I know]
Potato fries with bbq sauce
Green pepper, cucumber, onion & tomato fried on a pita

october 11th

Let the rain fall down & cover me, let it wash away my sanity

october 10th

Seeing pumpkin recipes everywhere... YUM


october 9th

Thank you sweet Carolina for making me feel at home.
We're groovy dogs, you & me

october 8th

Downtown Raleigh, NC
Say, what is that flying overhead?


october 7th

URBAN OUTFITTERS [stole my nonexistent paycheck]

Carolina Hurricanes hockey game
Last row in the nosebleeds --totally the best view

[Kid Rock was also in attendance]


october 5th

The bed of a queen
I'm staying at the most gorgeous home ever in NC


october 2nd

Three things:
1] This picture has no significance to my day.
I tend to take pictures of my shoes when I run out of ideas.
2] But these shoes are new.
I finally came upon a pair of Gap flats in my size [YAY]
3] The red arrow made me want to find a thought provoking quote about direction.
But in all honesty, I just think it's cool.


wide eyed

tonight is one of those nights. you know the kind: you're dead tired but can't fall asleep because your brain has decided to ponder everything possible & remind you of how much you have to do tomorrow. from one thought to the next, you toss & turn trying to catch some shut eye. this is my current predicament.

but reading between the lines, or thoughts rather, i'm reminded of all the things i've been blessed with. people & possessions. experiences & circumstances. even simple things like gum & chapstick [two things i honestly can't live without].

i'm overwhelmed with how much God has blessed me. in no way do i deserve anything He has graciously bestowed upon me. it's so easy for me--and all of us--to forget our blessings in the midst of trials & bad situations we didn't see coming. instead of counting it all joy, we shake our fists & demand an answer from God as to why He's turned His back on us.

but He's still there. He's been there all along, from the time we failed to recognize the good in our lives as blessings from Him, to the time of trials that we refuse to acknowledge as building blocks in our relationship with Him. it's funny how we consider ourselves blessed only when things are going our way. but lately I've realized that even frustrating circumstances & unplanned events are blessings too-- in a different way, obviously, but joy can still be a result of such things.

sometimes it takes a storm in life for us to wake up & thank God for being in control of our lives. and sometimes it's just a moment late at night that our minds are blown with reminders of God's love and provision for us. whatever the case may be, stop time for a moment. make a list [mentally or on paper-- it's proven to release endorphins, so do it] of things or ways in which God has blessed you. i guarantee you'll be looking forward to seeing what God will do next.

i'm thankful for my life. i'm thankful for my crazy family, awkward situations i always seem to find myself in, & even sleepless nights like this when all i can do is lay in the dark & ponder all these things. i'm hopeful for what the future brings, for the blessings to come & even the hardships i must endure. but for now, i'm thankful for the tired feeling that just hit me. i think i'll wait to start my list until tomorrow.

he who can no longer pause to wonder & stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. --albert einstein

october 1st

Postcard perfect.
My gramps is a total beach bum but
my grandma redefines classy
They say opposites attract

september 30th

We like to pick on each other
[Grandma approves]