rabbit hole

how is it possible to be such a mixture of emotion
a combination of messes, drowning in the ocean
one day you're fine, the next day you're not
never understanding or knowing what will be brought
and how is it possible to feel this alone
in the midst of beautiful people you love to the bone
to try to cry out but not really know how
so instead listen up & let them take the show
and how is it possible to not know yourself
to be constantly shocked by the lack of self help
confused & overwhelmed by the feelings within
so to cope you just dive into the past full of sin
and how can it be that old habits are so easily renewed
knowing they're a lie but willing them to be true
because what else do you have but those deep dark secrets
to keep you warm at night, even if in the morning they'll be regrets
and why is the default to pretend all the time
being so happy & crazy, but honestly not being fine
because you just feel that you're lost within yourself
so you fake a smile instead of asking for help
and why is life spent trying to impress 
instead of focusing on things that matter, that last
hiding yourself in the opinions of others
rather than dealing with issues, you let them be smothered
and how did i end up here in this rabbit hole
this dark place i swore i'd never again go
but here i am once more, without a light for some hope
unsure of where to go, how to cope
but with one foot forward i have to trust it's the right way
to get me out of this underground, into the light of day
because i just can't stand the thought of dying down here
this can't be the end, i won't give in to the fear
chin up buttercup
the rabbit will find its way home eventually

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