what i have been experiencing is something i never imagined in a million years would happen to me. funny how we have a perfect little life planned out for ourselves & then --BAM-- in an instant, it's shattered. gone. nothing more than a memory. God's way of reminding us that He has control of the wheel... i'm just along for the ride [total cliche, but carrie underwood did a fine job, don't you agree?]
nothing could have prepared me for the aftermath. sure, people go through this all the time. change is inevitable & heartbreak is expected. but still... the pain & loneliness is almost too much for my little self to handle. and the part that hurts the most? [thank you, rascal flatts for asking that rhetorical question which i feel compelled to answer]. feeling stuck in the same spot while the world moves on without noticing. it's like a continual slap in the face. but the funny thing is, people don't seem to realize [and/or care??] they're the ones doing the deed. it's at this point in my self-indulging buffet that i ask myself, does it even matter? why bother keeping up with those who have obviously moved on without me? they're happy & content... i have just as much a right to do the same. anddd there i go complaining. let's move along [courtesy of the all american rejects].
so much easier said than done. healing can be such a long process... but the road there is the journey that shapes us into who we are. it's what makes us unique, like snowflakes & puzzle pieces. the path left behind & the steps ahead are full of laughter, joy, pain, & sorrow. to fully experience joy, one must first face the fire. although complete opposites, they kind of go hand in hand. so, let's join hands & fight this battle together.
though my heart is so broken it seems impossible to pick up the pieces & make it whole again, i hold on to the hope that one day, i'll find joy. a happiness so vibrant it's contagious.
but a small part of me will always belong here... & every once in a while, i'll come back for a visit.
--never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours--